Vengeance - It swells within me as i spy so many who eye my queen...

Nightmare in a dream

2007-02-06T21:15:00.000-08:00

Nightmare in a dream

Midnight reckons as I doze away into slumber
My eyelids shut, unconsciousness takes me over
Cool air in the room, filled with a scent of agony
As I descend into a state of insanity

This woman I see in my dreams night after night
Her grip draws blood from a stab in the heart
I scream in fear, trying to run away in vain
But I still see her when my eyes shut again

In old times she was there by my side
Blanketing my pain and sorrow aside
In the dark of the night she’d be there seated
On a stone ledge with but a solitary lamp lighted

One day she disappeared, like the mist of the morning
Without a trace, without warning
She left me in a state of anxiety and confusion
Which turned into a blade of pain and delusion

Words I heard, still ring in my head
Refusing to part, killing me slowly instead
Her voice still fills the room
Then turns to a scream in the midnight moon

I’m gripped with fear, shattering and slicing me
Never before have I felt this empty
Have I known you well enough my dear
In old times till the second I dropped my last tear

Midnight reckons as I doze away into slumber
My eyelids shut, unconsciousness takes me over
Cool air in the room, filled with a scent of agony
As I descend into a state of insanity

Still I see her in my dreams night after night
Her grip draws blood from a stab in the heart
I scream in fear, trying to run away in vain
Would you please just help me end this pain

It's Final!

2006-05-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

Decision has been made... I am going to add my guitar collection with another V shaped guitar. This time it's a jackson rhoads RR-1. I seriously need a whammy bar with the kinda playing i'm messing around with now. Hmmm maybe it is gonna be bought on impulse but who the hell cares. It's a wicked guitar! Hopefully i can get endorsement by Jackson guitars... Hmmmm... Argh dreaming again. Anyway here's a pic of the guitar and i'll leave ya'll with a vid.

Woohoo!

2006-05-03T03:22:00.000-07:00

Well here's another entry from the exhausted guitarist kid who just returned from jurong island. Anyway attachment's been really fun... NOT! Ugh...

Anyway the gigs went really great. I'll let the pics do the talking.

The Band (Vintage w/o Emmanuel)

Solo away kid!

Woah...

2006-04-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

Man... Band life is extremely exhausting. Practice after practice after practice... There's just bout enough time to relax if there isn't school to worry bout. Sheesh... Anyway... Got a couple of gigs coming up. April 21st in TP (Vintage), April 28th at Zombie(Slingshot). Hope all you fellas can drop by for them. Just finished practice with Vintage. Going out to meet ben now... Ciao fellas!

Fun at poison ground (Kranji Pond)

2006-03-31T02:50:00.000-08:00

Today, Jeremy and i decided to go to the poison ground for treatment. Checked in at 4.30 and immediately dr eduard was there to receive us...

From the straight out jetty we started... about 10 mins later a tarpon was hooked... but it was released prematurely while it was being landed.

We moved over to the opposite side and action started immediately with a double hook up. Jeremy lost his fish while i landed mine. Small GT of about 4lbs.

Action was non stop and the GTs were right in front of us. Quite a number of GTs were hit and landed by me but unfortunately for jeremy he lost most of his hook ups.
[img]http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c70/nickmatthew/PICT0432.jpg[/img]

My catches.

5lb GT

6.5lb GT

Only these photos were shot. The rest were released without photos as doctor eduard said "aiyah, small!"

Total catches: Nick - 10 hooked / 8 landed (GT)
1 tarpon lost

Jeremy - 7 hooked / 1 landed (GT)

ROAR.... Muahaha!

2006-03-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

ROAR! I'm back bitches! And oh have i never felt oh so good. Life's been pretty easy on me during this long absence. And it looks pretty good ahead. Couple more gigs for Vintage and we're planning to do a demo tape of some of our covers. Currently i'm working on a couple originals for the band so i hope they'll turn out fine. Let me introduce our new maestro to the Vintage rockers. His name's James and he will be our new drummer/keyboardist. He's gonna do a Yoshiki on some of our songs. By the way, he's an awesome keyboardist and to have him in our band exceeds our wildest, WILDEST expectations. As for me, i'm still on guitars, keys and backing vocals. However, i gotta do backing vocals and drums for some songs. So i've gotta go get my drumming brushed up again.

And oh yes... Slingshot gig video will be out soon. Once it's done, you guys can see it. Alright people i'm off to bed. So long bitches! ROAR!

I can't find the words to say good bye.

2005-11-23T08:41:00.000-08:00

Can’t say I don’t love her
Still I can’t pretend
That my heart is torn just knowing that I’m losing my bestfriend
If it’s easier said and done
Then someone tell me why
Though I try,
I can’t find the words to say goodbye

I could tell her that I’m sorry
Hope she’ll understand
She will have to do with someone else
All that we have planned
I’d rather her hear the truth
Than hurt her with a lie
So I tried,
But I can’t find the words to say goodbye

Now I know
I have to go
There’s no other way
But goodbye is not what I can bring myself to say...

If I told her see you later
Then I might be wrong
’cause this voice inside is driving me
To find where I belong
I know I must leave her now but everytime I try,
Don’t know why,
Ibut I can’t find the words to say goodbye...
Don’t know why,
I can’t find the words to say goodbye....

This is the song i've been playing for the past hours. Absolutely love it cos it means lots to me.

To grandpa. I hope you can forgive me for not visiting you as often as you wished i could. I'm really sorry. I still love you.

The Leaving and Returning of Grandpa

2005-11-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 8th Nov 2005 2300hrs... Anthony Lim Kee Chan, My grandpa passed away. Midway through leading the rosary, i watched his breath slow down, till he breathed his last and turned pale. I had no choice but to continue with the rosary even though it hurt me just as much. All throughout, there was crying from my mom and godma, nurses walking in and out of the room, doctors coming in and out. Not one bit of piece.

The following day, the casket arrived at Blk 506 Bedok North Avenue 3. There was a little "communication" session with grandpa. I then noticed that my grandpa's name was spelt wrongly on the info sheet. Big cockup by Singapore Casket. Ordered them to go reprint it. Followed by guests arriving and leaving. Prayers followed at 2030hrs. The same routine carried on for the next day as well.

On the morning of the funeral, there was a short buffet before heading to the church. I had requested to play the guitar for the funeral of my grandfather. The funeral minister had agreed to it and asked me to come down earlier to the church to liaise with the organist. I was there early, only to be slammed by that irritating priest. His attitude stinks of a sewer rat! He had no respect whatsoever for the requests of the family. So i got pissed and gave him a big piece of mind and almost a piece of my fist if not for the funeral minister stepping in. If you're reading this, PLEASE GET SOME SHIT INTO YOUR BRAINS DAMN IT! He even disapproved of even using amazing grace in the funeral, at least till godma got pissed with him and shot him back. So the funeral commenced and ended in a flash.

At the crematorium, the last respects were given to my grandpa and each person present placed a rose into the coffin while family members attached a note to it. My godma then opened to bottles of tiger beer and poured it into several plastic cups. She then gave the cups to the people as a final toast to grandpa. And she even saved a last drop to be placed on grandpa's lips.

The next few days, there were still prayer sessions at 2030hrs. Today, the 14th Nov 2005 was the last day of prayers. The final prayers were to be said before 0000hrs (Midnight). That, as i was told by godma, was when the spirit returns home for the last time and it usually leaves a sign of some sort. I just shook that theory aside not really believing much in the paranormal. UNTIL TODAY! Grandpa came back.

At 2345, we started reciting the rosary in the living room area of the house with all the lights in the house turned on. Mind you my grandparent's house is really old so doors are really creaky and noisy. Just before midnight, midway through the first decade of the rosary, there it was. A SIGN! I heard with my own ears, along with several other family members, the toilet door closed. And then opened a few seconds later. Then silence...

I then knew that was the last sign i would ever get from my dearest grandpa. Wherever you are grandpa... I STILL LOVE YOU! Rest in peace my dear.

If only...

2005-09-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

If only life was a breeze. A piece of cake. Well reality check... It's a bloody piece of SHIT! That's right. Especially for a bozo like me! I just envy people with nice loving families who can talk among and to each other without getting into a heated quarrell every single farking time! School ain't goin good either! Results back and it's four farking suppers for me! Bloody hell! Screw this shit! Ain't gonna give a shit anymore!

Grandpa ain't doin too well... It just saddens me to see him in this state. The once strong and fit grandpa who used to teach me how to box is now this frail, pale figure who looks nothing like he used to be, just lying in bed. God has a destiny for you grandpa. Even if it's not on this planet. It will be in heaven.

You've always been my inspiration in life. As much as i don't want you to go, i can't do anything. I just wish you a safe journey ahead. And a life of eternity that you'll lead. I'll be missin you...

Forget it...

2005-07-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Oh well... No one bothers about me anyway. Boy have i such a bloody sad life. I can so see that if i die the world doesn't mourn any loss... They'll probably be happy cos there's one less person taking up their oxygen content... Why should i even bother doing so much. Since it'll all go down the drain anyway...

I hereby derive my theory...
No one gives a shit about me!
And no use asking for a second chance...

Quizzie!

2005-07-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

Yo peeps... Take my quiz ya? Enjoy... http://www02.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=050724091039-342949&email=&c=0&a=01

Dead.

2005-07-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

Well for this entry, i'm going to refer myself from a third person perspective. Sigh. Oh well...
Nick isn't feeling too good these days. He's been having lotsa shit going on. Everything seems to be going down the drain for him. His love, his music, his life. He seems to be destined to be single. Not surprising... Judging from the fact that he is bitchiness of the highest level. Nick feels that life is very feigned and cold. His love for music is forced upon him as an escape from the pain and sorrow of his life put upon by people around him as well as his parents... He uses music as a form of communication too. Nick doesn't feel like living his life anymore. Nothing seems to be going right for him and nothing seems to be helping either. If there was only a way to help his poor soul.

What's the point of staring into blank space
In this lonely time and place
Without anyone for company
Except a piano and guitar, churning an angry melody
Cold iron shadows are cast upon the walls as he plays
Tyranny shows in his eyes
Nothing arises from the nights and days
Pain and grief from days gone by
From this he derives, it's easier to live alone
From love, a splinter in his heart
Hurting himself as he had grown
Causing him to be ripped and torn apart
If there was only a better way to help
this lonely soul who just wants to love someone
And cherish that person till the end has begun.

Nothing left...

2005-07-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys.. I haven't had time and any bit of mood to blog for the past few days... I haven't been any bit emotionally stable at all... Ah heck... I've given up doing anything already... I don't have any inspiration in life and not only that... My music is going down the drain too... cos i just haven't any mood to do anything nowadays... How i wish i could turn back time... Way back to the time when i wasn't even born... I just wish i wasn't even born... "Father i've seen too much... I hate to live my life... " "I'm just a blank file in your memory"

2005-06-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

God! She must fucking hate me now lar! I bloody didn't mean to say anything wrong... Sigh it's just me and my bloody big mouth lar... ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just my farking arse luck lar! Whole farking life in a daze right now and i don't farking know what the hell to do with this farked up life! SOMEONE FARKING HELP THIS FARKED UP SOUL PLEASE! HE'S GONNA MEET HIS MAKER SOON! I AM SOOOOOOOO FAAARRKKKED UP!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HELP ME PLEASE...

YAY!!!

2005-06-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well today was a pretty fun day... Skipped all my lessons for a bloody project in the morning then to the kopitiam for my milo! Haha... After that zhiwei and i ran over to tampines mall to buy guitar strings.. DAMN YAMAHA CLOSED FOR DINNER AND DANCE! WASTE ME TIME! Nvm... go arcade play game... Play soccer shiok shiok ready... then made our way down to bugis to buy strings then back home on bus 12... Butt pain sia... Once at home... Restringed the axe and was ripping in no time! After that was bored of playing ready. So i decided to make my way down to marine parade to meet steffie! Along with weilyn and fernie... One crazy bunch i tell you... But it's all good fun. Anyway... Ain't much happened... But i had a nice evening... Nights world!

P.S HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHTON! DON'T SAY I NV CALL YOU AH!!! I DID OK!!!

Sigh...

2005-06-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

Well term tests are coming up and i ought to get my arse studying.. but heck.. this weekend, fishing is more important! Haha! Let's go puss! Tarpon in the morning and dry fly in the afternoon! Anyway leave u people with a song... It's the song playing on my blog now... Such a beautiful song...

Jim Brickman - Love of my Life
I am amazed
When I look at you
I see you smiling back at me
It's like all my dreams come true

I am afraid
If I lost you girl
I'd fall through the cracks
And lose my track in this crazy lonely world

Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When the nights can be so long
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me holding on

Chorus
You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are the love
The love of my life

Now here you are
With midnight closing in
You take my hand as our shadows dance
With moonlite on your skin

I look in your eyes
I'm lost inside your kiss
I think if I'd never met you
About all the things I'd missed

Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When a love can be so strong
And faith give me the strength
And keep me holding on

Life's a bitch

2005-06-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

Seriously... Life is A BITCH! You never know what you're in until life throws shit in your face... Like most of the time... You think that things are going smoothly in your life but actually isn't... and you don't find out till later... Life's a bitch... LIFE'S A F*-ed UP Bitch... BLAH! I'll end here... Too grumpy and pissed to blog further.

Bored Sia!

2005-06-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

I'm in school using my friend's laptop to blog. Ahaha... Class is uber boring i tell you... But the teacher's damn funny... The slack and smoke teacher... Thank god i have him and not the orh bin teacher... Or a.k.a Angkong siao... Haha... Well i was at east coast last night... Damn the action was powerful man... Fish everywhere but i found a pipe in lagoon... i think they're gonna drain it soon... Fishermen reading this... all unite and lets go! Edward! Puss! Matthew! Let's go!

Talked to steffie last night... Till bout one... Woke up in the morning quite grumpy... And to make me happy... I vented my anger on my siblings when they were playing the com... i went to.... GRENADE!!! Hahaha.... My house smell of TP toilet! Haha....

Soon... Soon... Few months time... :)

Nick Out...

I LIKE THIS PIC!!!

Why do i even bother?

2005-06-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

Well... What's life? It's boring... That's what it is... I don't even have any mood to do anything... Even to fish! Fucked up i tell you... Leave u guys with a poem.

I ain't got no name for this shit... so i'm just writing what ever i can think of...

What do i do when life gets down and low...
Sit by the piano, drowning my sorrow...
Thinking of what life'll be like in the future...
Nothing - I don't see no picture...
Will i live in comfort, in fame?
Or a street rat, mocked and in shame...
Strumming my guitar in the street...
Begging for money... Just to eat...
Nothing on my back... Just old rags,
With people walking by, ignoring this old hag...
My life was lost long ago...
Didn't really like it...
But on i go,
Why i don't really know...
There's nothing for me to live for...
In this lousy life... Anymore...
Or is there? You i see in the distance...
Will you be the one to bring my back to life?
Guess not...
Untalented, Ugly, and Unwanted.....

One more chance

2005-06-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well... I did some thinking just now over some coffee... I've made a decision to give relationships a last chance... If nothing works out on this chance then i'll not be looking for love until i'm thru with NS and have a job... As for now... Something's gotten into me and i feel awful... i'm happy one moment and all of a sudden i feel sad... AND IT'S NOT BLOODY MOOD SWINGS SO ANYONE THINKING FUNNY... FORGET IT! It's called... Emotions!.... Yes.. That's the damn word... Sigh... Alright... Tomorrow i start school at 4... I'm gonna sleep late tonight... Compose some music over the piano... These songs are like glass cases... They contain my sorrows... and are soon forgotten... So i'll be packing my sorrows into another one tonight... God bless tt special someone on her competition... Make sure that she's safe throughout this compy. Oh yes... Not forgetting her helm too... (You're not forgotten! You know who you are!)

Where's my shorty?

2005-05-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

Well blogging here in the house of the puss... It's roseanne's birthday! Last night i went to pasir ris beach for andrea's barbeque... Ate a shitload and took out the spinstick to catch...... Catfish... SENG!!! FARKING SENGS!!! LOTSA THEM!!! Steffie's at camp... Tiring herself out... Oi! Take care ah! And EAT!!! Haha... But now i permit you to sleep... Now's the right time! Hahaha...

At the puss's house... What's wrong with us? 3 abangz and a muey all sharing a queen size bed... It's like some orgy i tell you... Screaming and laughing... And abang nick is happily snoring away in the corner while the three of them battle it out for the damn blankets and pillows... The middle kid always gets the stuff don't he? Haha... Had charsiew rice for lunch and gearing up for the scrumdidlyumtious food later... Oh crap! Forgot bout my salomon shoes i ordered! Gotta go over to novena square later to collect them... After that... *kaching* i'm broke! Hahaha... Anyways back to the bed of dreams already occupied by those 3 special mo-fo's... Siam ah! Tua leng kong lai liao!

2005-05-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well... School's started... Ultimate boredom. My subject modules suck big time this sem... I'm so gonna die but i so gotta make it or else it's in house attachment for me... which means NO MONEY!!! Must chiong! Anyway... Trying to learn to play this song... Jim Brickman - Valentine... Haha..

Jim Brickman - Valentine

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I’d still feel for you

-=Chorus=-
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You’ve opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly

-=Chorus=-
I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn’t love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine

(piano solo)

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
’Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You’re all I need, my love, my Valentine

Rose dreams

2005-05-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

I went to watch star wars last night.. and i met the guy! The fella! One man.... One decision... One DESIRE! Haha... The previews guy... He really talks like that! Caught an arowana in the morning from tasmanian river... Damn nice place...

To top it off, i had a really nice evening... Sipping wine by the beach, enjoying the cool night air... then BOOM! WOAH LOOK AT THAT!!! Yea i wish... i just went home to sleep lar... But... I dreamt of a rose... Hmmmm... Hee!

~

2005-05-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

Today went to watch house of wax with steffie... Gruesome as hell man! PARIS HILTON DIED!!! Hahaha... DIE BIMBOTIC BITCH DIE!!! HAhaha.... After that received some disturbing news so basically spoilt my whole day lar! Thanks a lot~! Sigh... Why of all people!? Anyway steffie thanks for the fun time! *Winkz* Madagascar we shall! Hahaha....

Hmmm.... Wierd? Cool? Dunno...

2005-05-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

I'm ultimately boring... I'm still stuck playing the odyssey... actually i refuse to move on cos the first guitar solo is so nice to play... Haha... Anyway went to meet someone yesterday and something wierd happened... Dunno how to explain... But yea... Dropped by lagoon after that... Saw a few mats catching tilapia... Well at least they're not disturbing our bigger quarry that we're aiming for...

Well to that someone i know... I have a message for you!

Ciao world!

Back in Agony

2005-05-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well people... Looks like Nick is back in agony again... Seems like something very common isn't it... And there always seems to be a pattern in it... I don't know why but it's seriously ******** me up really badly and i'm damn pissed... And guess what? IT'S ALWAYS MY F****** FAULT! MY STUPIDITY, MY LACK OF BRAINS AND MY TOTAL LACK OF THE SENSE OF EMOTION!!! WHY NICK WHY!!!!! Sigh... Back to my old ways of destressing... Shredding on my guitar followed by writing poems again... They're all sad ones mind you...

Leave u peeps with a poem...

Nick - Agony

Back in this old swivelling chair,
Pissed - not surprisingly,
Feeling the wind in my hair,
Feeling no sense of urgency...
It always seems to be the case,
Where life - i screw up big time,
Blood flows down my face...
And it's no one's fault but mine.
Here i am in another chase,
Leaving the past behind.
In a different time and place,
But same old heart and mind.
I'm stalked by iron shadows,
In an alley of tyranny.
Darkness descends over meadows,
And all i feel...
Is the feeling of the unmistakable... - Agony.

Nick - Sad as usual... What's new eh?

New life?

2005-05-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

Everything seems so different now... Actually much more boredom than anything else... Lack of fishing action, lack of work... Lucky still got someone accompany me... Yes you know who you are... And puss... i'm sorry bout the rod man... Didn't mean to deflower it on that barra... Major screw up at church on sunday i tell you... The whole band crashed on 4 songs... Possibly the biggest screw up ever! Sheesh... Working today... Yay... Got money!

Leave u guys with a song...

Symphony X - The Odyssey
(Yes it's that fairy tale sounding song that i've gone nuts over... It's damn nice to play on guitar ok!)
(And yes there's seven chapters to this song with different feels which makes it damn cool... AND IT'S BLOODY 24.07 mins LONG!)

[Part I Odysseus' Theme / Overture]
[music / orchestration - Romeo]

[instrumental]

[Part II - Journey to Ithaca]
[music - Romeo]
[lyrics - Allen, Romeo]

To the one that I love, my journey has begun
When our eyes meet once more there will me peace
The taste of your lips the warmth of your touch
again, forever, two souls as one

Seems like forever that my eyes have been denied
Home - I'm dreaming of home
I've been twenty years away from all I ever knew
to return would make my dreams come true

Seasons of sorrow have stolen all my years
I miss the rolling hills of Ithaca
I've been through battles and cried a sea of tears
but the tide is changing, and with it all my fears

Seems like forever that my eyes have been denied
Home - I'm dreaming of home
I've been twenty years away from all I ever knew
to return would make my dreams come true

Behold the sea and winds of Jove
We set sail guided by the stars above
The ports of Troy escape our view
a cold and stormy fate awaits our rendezvous

Onward we ride, into the raging fury
Setting our course by the moon and sun
We forge ahead seeking glory
Yet the journey has just begun

Onward we ride - nine days we brave her might
we are coming home...

[Part III - The Eye]
[music- Romeo]
[lyrics - Romeo]

Awakened at dawn - Land dead ahead
with the winds of the morning we change course
no remorse, a place forbidden to all

Search all the grounds - find food and water
Yet journey not into the Cave of Woe
long ago, a legend spoke of a beast

A thousand riches hidden deep within the stone
A thousand nightmares mortal's blood forever flows

A mountainous black - engulfed in a shadow
a bone-chilling growl and an Eye of Hate
a ghastly fate - held prisoner by the Eye

Yet he must sleep - as the daylight fades
we focus our senses and sharpen our blade
we take aim - In silence we strike

A thousand riches hidden deep within the stone
A thousand nightmares - blood runs forever - from the Eye...

[Part IV - Circe (Daughter of the Sun)]
[music - Romeo]
[Lyrics - Romeo]

We sit adrift on the open sea
The gift of wind, by Zeus, concealed - so carelessly
We break the waves on a course untrue
across the endless plain of blue - a new coast in view

We carouse with the maiden
beneath her eyes the madness lies
...in mystery

I drink deep from the chalice
of gold and jade - my senses fade
...I'm mesmerized

Stay - like those before
I condemn you all - from walk to crawl
...metamorphasized

No - my will it defies her
speak the verse - lift the curse
...she's mesmerized

Am I asleep?
Tell me Daughter of the Sun
There's vengeance in the air and all things will be undone

[Part V - Sirens]
[music - Romeo]
[lyrics - Romeo]

Dire warnings -
told by the sorceress in white
'false bringers of love' - Sirens
echoing songs from above

Wings flowing -
floating on Sea of Lies
I defy their vision
Elysium swallows my cries

Embracing -
maidens of lust stimulate
and manipulate my senses
I welcome a watery grave

Tied steadfast to the mast
tragedy awaits me
I'm falling victim
betrayed by the sea

[Part VI - Scylla and Charybdis]

[a) Gulf of Doom]
[b) Drifting Home]
[music / orchestration - Romeo]

[instrumental]

[Part VII - The Fate of the Suitors / Champion of Ithaca]
[music - Romeo]
[lyrics - Lepond, Romeo]

So this is home...
In the guise of a beggar - Minerva guides my way
I find my kingdom in jeopardy

Vengeance - it swells within me
As I spy so many who eye my Queen
I'll make them pay for this blasphemy... All will see

Triumphant - Champion of Ithaca
I will right all the wrongs
Let the Gods sing my song
Triumphant - Champion of Ithaca
Let a new life begin
my journey has come to and end

A contest of valor
'to pierce the twelve rings
in a single arrow's flight'
Yet, not a one can string the bow

My veil of silence lifted
All is revealed
revenge burns in my heart
thrashing and slashing down all my foes...to claim the throne

Triumphant - Champion of Ithaca
I will right all the wrongs
Let the Gods sing my song
Triumphant - Champion of Ithaca
Let a new life begin
this is the end of my Odyssey

Seems like forever that my eyes have been denied
Home - I'm finally home
It's been twenty years away from all I ever knew
I have returned to make my dream come true

ugh................

2005-03-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

Boredom.. Boredom... BOREDOM!!! Life sucks nowadays doesn't it? Shit...

Yay! Stephie's shifiting to pasir ris! All hell break loose! All the coffee shop slacking sessions and the important commodity that goes with it... Haha... Clubbing... Hmmm... Fun starts 1st may! May day MAY DAY!!!

Ok.. .Back to my boring life...

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

Yes yes i know... I haven't blogged in a fricking long time... But this is another good chance to express my distress cos THE DAMN SALOON SCREWED UP MY HAIR!!!!! It seriously sucks when people just don't understand fricking english! I told that bitch to shorten my hair a little bit... And guess what! She cut SHORT!!! I look like i'm in the army now!!! AAAAAAARRRRGGHH!!!! NIGHTMARE I TELL YOU! I can't fricking believe that i spent twelve fricking bucks on that damn disaster case! Went to lagoon that night... Lost a barracuda... Friend got a barramundi on lure... His first fish on lure! How lucky... Unlike me...

BARRACUDA!!!!!

2004-12-29T22:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry people... Stressful and sad life due to classified souces have taken it's muthaf***ing toll on me... Why does it turn out like this all the time? I juz don't understand... Fricking kill myself better than living on... Seriously!

Here's how i feel... bout a person in this world...

Sonata Arctica - Two Minds One Soul

I feel emotions are denied
I hide through day to welcome night
Just to get away from you
Is it me that you've deceived
Now you drown in make believe
I'm so far away from you

I know you can't see my face
I know you wont change
The way your outlook is to life
The way you tend to speak my mind
Many words I could describe
You'll never know

I won't change
Won't listen to those empty words again
Past is shadows, covered cold
Such indecision you have two
minds in one soul

I could not see the shades of light
You gave into the empty lies
You could never face the truth

Blind before the facts you've known
The picture now has turned to stone
You have two minds in one soul

All Out Of Love...

2004-12-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

Hey people! Haven't been really blogging at all actually... Just decided to pay this site a visit and put in another entry into my blog... And due to all the "new" incidents that happened... I think i've got some inspiration for another one of those poems so here goes nothin!

Unforseen

Things began just how i dreamt it would...
Everything felt right, just as it should...
I felt it, I know you did too...
Feelings sensed ever so true...
I never imagined it'd work out so fast...
And suddenly it's all in the past...

What did i do wrong?
What did i say? What did i do?
Was I blind to sense your hurt all along?
And just carried on bringing and causing sadness for you?

If there was a way, my love
To bring you back to my side again...
I'd pray to the almighty one above...
To take away all your pain...

In my dreams I see you night after night...
Playing back the scene from that sad, sad day...
Holding back my tears, or at least trying with all my might...
Staring into the sky painted dull gray...

Sitting by the beach I was... In misery...
You vanished before me...
Hoping to hear your voice again...
Hoping that would ease the pain...

Although time may change your feelings for me...
I really do hope you'd be able to see so clearly...
That my feelings are true... And believe me...
I do love you dearly...

Craziness...

2004-10-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of screwing up my hair again! Hahaha... i'm planning to super bleach my hair tips and then do the whole head red so the tips will stand out even more... dunno lar... some people asking me to do purple... a little crazy... but i like! Hahahaha....

Dreaming of you...

I sit by the fire dreaming...
Watching the glow so endearing...
I rest my head and try to sleep...
Thinking of the love in my heart i keep...

So here i am with my heart in my hands....
Hoping you will give me yours too...
Forever we will be, never will we part...
This is what i see, when i'm dreaming of you...

Ultimately sickening!

2004-10-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

These few days has been ultimately sickening for me... first i lose my hp... then now my shades! What's next!? Sheesh... And i flopped 2 fricking papers! Like wad the %^&#! Sheesh! No mood to talk once again... Sorry...

Crap...

2004-10-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

Was playing for mass today... All went well initially... Until during the communion hymn, my amplifier went dead! Shit... No guitar for the rest of the mass... Meanie decided to give the amp a whack and back on it came... Crap! Totally Crap! Might be getting a new amp for church... Quite pissed now anyway... Chat later.... Grr....

Bored...

2004-10-17T05:02:00.000-07:00

Just been listening to voiceless screaming by X japan... Liked the lyrics so decided to put it up here...

Voiceless Screaming - X Japan

I'm drowning in sadness,
falling far behind,
I feel there is no way out.
Is there anyone there? Where am I?

Insanity and loneliness,
tear my painful heart.
Broken heart keeps on going to beat,
but it never stops bleeding.

I've been waiting for love to come,
someone who wants to touch me deep inside.
Memories of my yesterdays,
careless words and deeds,
masquerade of love.
Got to find my way out of here.

I was blinded by dark desire,
over time, I've been through it all.
I'm crying my share of tears
What can I do,
will I make it through
I must be true to myself

Voiceless screaming,
calling to me, inside of my heart.
Voiceless screaming,
now is the time, I got to speak out.

Voice of faith, now I'm starting to realize,
now my eyes can see,
I have gone so far.
I'm feeling breath of life.

And I'm looking for love to reach
someone I want to touch deep inside.
Light shines on my sight of doubt
don't be afraid,
move forward one step,
willing mind is what I have found at last.

Voiceless screaming,
calling to me, inside of my heart.
Voiceless screaming,
now is the time, I got to speak out.
Voiceless screaming, calling to me, inside of my heart,
knocking on my souls door.
I believe in myself and trust what I do.
Voiceless Screaming
Pain of the past still hurts me inside
Knockin' on my souls door
I climb the stairs that lead me to Heaven.

A New Life?

2004-10-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

Yay i've joined ephrem! I played the first mass... and I SCREWED UP THE INTRO TO THANK YOU LORD!!!! Walau.... And everyone probably like heard it lar... so paiseh... tomorrow will be my second mass... Hope all goes well... but with crazy sounding guitar rhythms... it's gonna be tough tml... woah shit...

My hair's red now.... Hide!!!! Haha.... Church pple will probably like scream when they see me this sunday... Haha.... My guitar's fine i guess.... Life isn't so bad... Holiday wad! Ahahaha... Hey hey... And who's that chick i see? Hahahaha... AAAAAAARGGGHHH!!! Hottie! Hehehe.... Going mad ready lar... Back to the music now... Ciaoz...

Hide

Unfinished...

2004-09-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

X-Japan - Unfinished
Music and lyrics by Yoshiki

Oh? I'm looking at you, can't control myself
nothing but pain for me.
Wipe your tears, from your eyes.
Just leave and forget me.

No need to be hurt anymore.
Go away from me now,
I didn't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt anymore.

You said "I miss you so much."
Every night, thinking of you, and facing loneliness.
But when you feel sadness, never can I stay with you.
I'm not the one you need.

Close your eyes and forget me.
There's nothing I can do anymore.
I've lost my way...
I've been walking in the night of tears.
There, I found someone was holding you.
As the night was all falling down.

With my love also vanished my vision of you...
My heart is cold now.
Wipe your tears, from your eyes.
Just leave, and forget me.
No need to be hurt, anymore.

Everyday, thinking of you, and living in loneliness.
But when you feel sadness, never can I stay with you.
Go away from me now.
I don't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt, anymore.
Can't find my way...

Woah power man...

2004-09-25T01:11:00.000-07:00

The party was wild man! Church pals were all there... Started off with one vodka 7up then 2 beer bongs by leonard followed by 2 shots... with who i don't know... Pukez once... Then there was submarine with mark valath and puss and myself... followed by a shot with charles, another one with lilow, another one with ven and puss, another one with matthew valath, and last one with leonard before another puking session out in the garden... kenneth puked all over my leg!!! I'm like wad the hell... Then he gave me a hi5 after he wiped his vomit... like "Hey abang nick! *Splat* YUCK!!!!" After that all i remember was leonard going nuts and making a hell of a racket... lilow went crazy and screamed at leo to shut the hell up.. haha. I had to pat leno to sleep at like 5.30 in the morning... i'm dead beat now.... Super tired... Anyway i had fun... Lots of it... Wanna shout out to all my pals who gave me a hell of a time... First to my pinching bag lilow! Pinchies! Ven too... Winkz... Thanks for holding the party for us... U rock girl... The whole group of my abangz abangz... Charles, Puss, Ben, Matthew, Markteo, Mark V, Leno, Chris and Glen... And lastly... thank you auntie for cleaning up after us... and thanks for the hot horlicks in the morning...

Final Score, 9 shots and 2 beer bongs...

Leave u guys with a song...

X japan - Crucify my love

Crucify my love - If my love is blind
Crucify my love - If it sets me free
Never know, Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love - If it should be that way

Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out
When the wind cries - I'll say good bye
Tried to learn, Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer - Is this forever

Like a river flowing to the sea
You'll be miles away, and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry

Crucify my love - If my love is blind
Crucify my love - If it sets me free
Never know, Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love - If it should be that way

'Til the lonliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear the clouds away
Oh is it a crime to love

Swing the heartache - Feel it inside out
When the wind cries - I'll say good bye
Tried to learn, Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer - Is this forever
If my love is blind
Crucify my love - If it sets me free
Never know, Never trust
That love should see a color
Crucify my love - If it should be that way

Hairstyle???

2004-09-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

I've been looking into the japanese scene these days and i've been observing their hairstyles... they're like woah... hahah... damn cool lar... fellas from X japan and Dir en Grey... Power hair and power style... I've decided on a new hairstyle... a little cross between hideto of X japan and my current hairstyle... I'm gonna pull the back outwards so it's spiked... top will be spiked too... i'll leave a fringe down... then i'll colour the hair fiery orange and overlap it with the sides which will still remain black... Hope it'll turn out nice though... Haha...

The late Hide of X-Japan

Die of Dir en Grey

Kaoru of Dir en Grey

School sucks...

2004-09-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Boring... In school now... Last night talked to LiLow on the phone... Played endless rain solo on a new effect setting on my metalzone... Not too bad sounding... Doesn't sound to metal-ish anymore... Anyway... Went fishing after feast day carnival on sunday and got me some fish... Here's a pic attached to share with u... Shout out to my pals LiLow, Puss, Jingz, Ren, Kennef, Gen and Kris... Anyway... gtg for class now... Take care all! Ciaoz

It's coming!

2004-09-10T02:41:00.000-07:00

Term exams are coming! ARRRGGHH!!! I'm so gonna fail lar! Especially maths... Straight to the supp papers i go! Haiz... Study i must! This sunday's church fun fair! Any of u AD-11 fellas wanna tag along too? Haha... Sunset here's so nice. Everything's orange! Trees on fire... Hmmm.... Today had CSAS reading skills test... I dunno how i fared... i hope i aced it... Must get everything good ready... Must buck up... Anyway... Leave u fellas with another song...

Dream Theater - Finally Free

[H:]
" You are once again surrounded by a brilliant white light. Allow the light to
lead you away from your past and into this lifetime. As the light dissipates
you will slowly fade back into consciousness remembering all you have learned.
When I tell you to open your eyes you will return to the present, feeling
peaceful and refreshed. Open your eyes, Nicholas."

[Miracle:]
Friday evening
The blood still on my hands
To think that she would leave me now
For that grateful man

Sole survivor
No witness to the crime
I must act fast to over up
I think that there`s still time

He`d seem hopeless and lost with this note
They`ll buy into the words that I wrote

" This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I`ve finally broke free
No longer torn in two
I`d take my own life before losing you"

[V:]
Feeling good this friday afternoon
I ran into Julian
Said we`d get together soon
He`s always had my heart
He needs to know
I`ll break free of the Miracle
It`s time for him to go

This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I`ve finally broke free
No longer torn in two
He`d kill his brother if he only knew

Their love renewed
They`d rendezvous
In a pathway out of view
They thought no one knew
They came a shot out of the night

[Sleeper:]
One last time
We`ll lay down today
One last time
Until we fade away
One last time
We`ll lay down today
One last time
We slowly fade away

As their bodies lie still
And the ending draws near
Spirits rise through the air
All their fears disappear, it all becomes clear
A blinding light comes into view
An old soul exchanged for a new
A familiar voice comes shining through

[N:]
This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I`m finally free
No longer torn in two
I learned about my lie by living through you

This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I`ve finally broke free
No longer torn in two
Living my own life by learning from you

We`ll meet again my friend someday soon

[CNN report:]
" news in London, France, Russia and Italy have deleted their lead story, all
anticipating the outcome of the man considered to be a member of American
nobility. And as you can imagine, as the skies have grown darker here over
Washington, the moon has grown darker as well and people here are beginning to
resign themselves to the possibility that they are witnessing yet another
tragedy in a long string of misfortunes. Reaction from everywhere, from
Washington and certainly from around the world has guess..."

[H:]
"Open your eyes, Nicholas"

[N:]
"AAAH!"

Cast of characters:
Nicholas [N]
Victoria Page [V]
Senator Edward Baynes [the miracle]
Julian Baynes [the sleeper]
The hypnoterapist [H]

Disappointed...

2004-09-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry peeps! Haven't been blogging for a while... Either cos i'm nowhere near a com cos i'm fishing or out... I did a recording of sea of lies and oh my goodnes... it was ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS! Today also had MEB quiz. I think i'm gonna fail... Haiz... Smart ass lar... Don't study...

Anyway... Big shout out to all my great friends out there! Namely LiLow!, Jingz!, Puss!, Ren!, Kennef! and Gen! Big hug to all you people! Thanks for being my friends!

Ain't got much to talk bout... Leave u peeps with a song...

Glory of love

Tonight it's very clear

As we're both lying here

There's so many things i wanna say

I will always love you

I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget

Say things I might regret

It breaks my heart to see you cryin'

I don't wanna lose you

I could never make it alone



I am the man who would fight for your honor

I'll be the hero you're dreamin' of

We'll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love



You keep me standing tall

You helped me through it all

I'm always strong when you're beside me

I have always needed you

I could never make it alone



I am the man who will fight for your honor

I'll be the hero you been dreamin' of

We'll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love



LIke a knight in shining armor

From a long time ago

Just the time I'd save the day

Take you to my castle far away



I am the man who would fight for your honor

I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' of

Gonna live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the Glory of Love



We'll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the Glory of Love



We did it all for love...



Nick out! Ciaoz!

Amplified!

2004-09-03T04:21:00.000-07:00

Today nth much happened. The whole class practically didn't bring the CSAS notes today so test was cancelled and so was class... Then we had a short discussion on our research project on cracking of crude oils... Other than that... NOTHING! Oh yes... went to the arcade during 4hr break today... played initial D with CH and QX... Damn fun... Sorry people... No mood to blog today. Hope i'll be feeling better tml... This headache is killing me...

Hollow Heart...

2004-09-02T05:39:00.000-07:00

What can i say bout today? OC1 tutorial quiz... Full marks? Highly possible... Hope so... Then there's PIPC1 Quiz... Oh don't remind me... Sheesh... i think i screwed up big time... Pass? Hope so.... Big hope so...*Fingers crossed*... Spent a little time with Gen after school... Watching soccer... MAN U DREW WITH EVERTON! Walau... Where can like this? Haiz... Other than this... Nothing much to talk bout today...

Here's another poem for you guys...

Hollow Heart...
The road leading out... Unending
I stand in the middle staring...
What is there down this lonely road?
Someone to be mine? Someone to lighten up my load?
No? All i see are pillars blackened and charred...
Burnt? Not really... More like hurt and scarred...
A warm sensation moves down my throat...
Alcohol to ease my sorrow and despair.
Is there anyone who's in the same boat?
Anyone with a listening ear... Who's problems i can share?
No? Loner once again... With this heavy heart...
A heart of hurt, a heart that doesn't play much of a part.
Looking into my heart... Searching...
What do i see? Nothing...
Where can i go? Who can i follow?
Not a soul... if all this heart is... is just hollow...
The same, things will never be...
Once again i leave people in agony...
Hurtful? Deceitful? Dishonest? Distrustful?
Qualities i'm just truly repentful...
Is there any hope at least?
A light shining through the mist?
I hope there is...
But will i ever smile again with this sorrow?
If my heart is oh so hollow?

A Day in a Life of a Loser/Loner...

2004-08-31T18:50:00.001-07:00

Today is Day TWO... Things still going ok... Sorry to hear that Qwek's dad passed away... Condolences to you Qwek... Be strong man... May the lord be on your side... And to all suffering the pain of love and relationships... I share your pain... Yoon Chron didn't come today cos he's in reservist... haha... Imagine froggie doing reservice... A good laugh we'll have... I finish class at like 9.30... What a day! But still got friggin CSAS project to do... Sucks lar... Anyway people... leave u fellas with a poem...

This is MY Story...
Staring blankly at a white wall
With paint chipped off and all
Thoughts of betrayal and lies fill my head
Why did this happen? I feel i'm better off dead
I've hurt so many people along the way...
With everything, faith and mercy gone astray...
Just like a time bomb ticking away...
Was this a tragedy waiting to arrise?
Or is there something behind that i've failed to realise?
Against the wall i lay motionless...
The wall seems to be turning colour...
Blood flowed out of the wall... Lonliness?
Down it trickles till it finally ends up on the floor...
Finally i realise what all this was...
It was my heart stabbed by love and it's lost...
Waiting for a light to shine through it again...
But will it all be in vain?
More thoughts arise...
Am i all deceit and lies...
I walk over to a hole in the wall...
I look down... And i fall...
Windows zap past me...
I see the ground closing in toward me...
I fall with a sickening thud...
I awake... This is not happening...
Have i become so heartless... So fake... So disturbing?
Loner i become again...
Living a life of despair and pain...
With no one but myself and me...
To keep the silence company...
So here i lay in bed...
With all these thoughts in my head...
Truly repentful for all the hurt i've caused...
But i know nothing can be undone with all hope lost...

A day in the life of a loser/loner...

Let's Drink Vegetable Juice...

What to do...

2004-08-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

Haiz... Here we go again... It's yet another one of those days u just don't know what to do aye? Well today i played badminton with henry and gang... So long never play... I rusty liao lar... Every game i play also lose. Sorry ronny... Sucks being my doubles partner at this point in time aye? This guitarist has given up already. I'm totally off form now. All my scales have gone haywire... Techniques all rusty. And erm... so are my strings... Need a new set already. So fast... Today is Day ONE... Will be counting down the days... Leave you peeps with another nice song once again by one of my fave bands... Symphony X...

Symphony X - The Divine Wings of Tragedy

On the edge of paradise
Tears of woe fall, cold as ice
Hear my cry
Renounce, have you, thy name
Eternal is my pain
Eternal is the pain that leads me to the thrones of temptation
Eternal is the pain that leads me to the thrones of temptation ...

There was a time ...
When nine choirs sang the endless melody of light
Music of the spheres
Threre was a place ...Where mortals embraced thunder and majesty
Their fate lay in our hands
Feel my wings slowly fading -forever lost in time - I cry

The burning conflict I'm feeling
It summons me to descend into the other side
And just beyond the stars blazing
A beam light from a red, velvet moon illuminates me

I will devise, from perfect skies
A dark and vengeful day
Faith and mercy gone astray

The prophet cries
Vast battalions rage on in the sky
Rising rom the north- the bringer of war
Eve of destruction
Summon all who have 'power over fire'
Impending doom from shore to shore
Standing on the edge of paradise
I sacrifice my truth and loyalty
Seven deadly sins consume you all, a dance with death
I taste the victory(Eternal is the pain that leads me to temptation)
Rising from the north- the warrior prince
Judgement without compassion eyes of fear
Like the river styx,the gates of hell -Abandon hope all ye who enter here
The prophets cry
As armies fall from the edge of the sky
The Prince of truth, now the bringer of war
The day of wrath
Banish all kings from the face of the land
Dominion for strength is my name
Eve of Sacrifice/Armies in the Sky/Dies trae

Looking out on a blue sky
I can see a new world arising
Like a prisoner unbound
I feel the power and the majesty again
Looking up to the heavens
I can see what I left behind
Beneath the stars, moon and warm sun
And all I know,is my paradise has begun ...

Enjoy the good life while you people can... It's never gonna last forever... Trust me... I KNOW...

Wild Wild Wet Death?

2004-08-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today went to wild wild wet again... oh wellz... Went there with Gen, her siblings theresa and timmy, Kristine, her brother desmond... Got several panic attacks there.. near drowning incidents too... one was Gen and one was me... And there was a kick to the AHEM!!!! OUCH! I SWORE THAT HURT!!! Really it did... U ok down there? But overall it was quite a fun day...

Symphony X - Lady of the Snow...

Garden of ice, ivory trees dimly glow
Maiden in white, led by lanterns of stone
Captured-by the light of moon
Diamonds and Jade-dressed in ashen blue
From the North, a mistress dressed in silvery blaze
The feel of her kiss steals my breath away
In the night, shadows dance through lucid doors
With a pale and frigid gaze
Lady of the snow, calling me
Her silhouette awaits in the cold
A kiss of stone, tempting me
Radiant lady in white, Maiden of the Snow
A winter's stare through veils that still my sight
In the night...she calls
Bound by this passion, I'm begging you please let me go
There is no escaping the feeling, I can't fight anymore
My desire echoes from a tale of ancient lore
As before, mystery fills my eyes
Beauty and bliss, I feel the hands that hold me now
I surrender myself to the night
Lady of the snow, calling me
Her silhouette awaits in the cold
A kiss of stone, tempting me
Radiant lady in white, Maiden of the Snow
A winter's stare through veils that still my sight
In the night...she calls
Lady of the snow, holding me
Her silhouette awaits in the cold
I can't fight anymore...

Sheesh...

2004-08-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

This morning... went bedok reservoir with Puss, Jeremy and JinJing... hit a few peacock basses... lost a big one... Saw a good sized koi get chomped in half and left floating round bleeding... Sick... Anyway... Went to chiong illegal at freshwater pond... Got a bloody tilapia! AARGH!... But patience pays off after i got this good size river catfish of 4kg at least... Pics will be up once my camera film finishes... Yoshiki rocks! Helluva drummer and pianist... How i wish i could be as talented as these people... Haiz... Hopeless musician...

Eternity
If there was one thing
I could wish for
It would be there shining
In your eyes of splendour
I just want to be by your side
Look after you through the night
To watch the sunrise
And see your smile in the morning light
Before you drift off into dreamland
I sit by your bed
I feel your hand tighten on my hand
I lean over and kiss you on your forehead
I look to the stars in the night sky
Is this heaven i am in?
If it is...
Then this is really happening...
If there was one thing i'd want you to see
Is if you'd be with me...
For eternity...

Wow.... There's another round of poeming (if there's such a word).... Anyway Ciaoz peeps... More fun tml.... Take care...

CCN Day... What a Joke..

2004-08-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well... Today was CCN day in school... My class did the Haunted house... Damn fun... During one of the runs... Kelvin's wig caught fire!!! Ahahaha! Power... Then i got kicked in the face by this asshole... If i ever find him... He's so gonna die... u can count on tt! I've fallen in love with X Japan's Silent Jealousy and Tears... They're so nice... The piano is juz so magnificent... Yoshiki.. and his drumming is juz stunning... And Hide's guitaring... Not too bad... Quite cool... Especially the harmonizing... And YOU*... WHY!?!?!?! Hhahahaha.... Juz kidding.. Miss ya...

Whisper into my ear
Sweet words from above
Take away all my pain and fear
And fill me with the sweetest love

Well. What Can I Say...?

2004-08-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

These few days have been really boring.. Ain't got much to do other than listen to music, shred a little on my guitar, oh yea... i read up a little on guitar harmonies in solos... Time to try it out... And oh yes... i composed a little song just for the fun of it... Tune's there for lyrics but haven't found the words yet... Anyone willing to help me? Gen? Hahaz... Anywayx... Heh.... Leave u peeps with another song...

Dream Theater - As I Am...

Don't
Tell me what's in
Tell me how to write
Don't tell me how to win
This fight
Isn't your life
It isn't your right
To take the only thing that's
Mine Proven over time
It's over your head
Don't try to read between the
Lines
Are clearly defined
Never lose sight of
Something you believe in
Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window
I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog
I've been trying to justify you
In the end I will just defy you
To those who understand,
I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command,
I know where I stand I won't change to fit your plan,
Take me as I am
As I am Still Running uphill
Swimming against the current
I wish I weren't so
Fucked
Feels like I'm stuck
Lost in a sea of mediocrity
''Slow down, You're thinking too much
Where is your soul?''
You cannot touch
The way I
Play
Or tell me what to say
You're in the way
Of all that I believe in
Takin' in the view from the outside
Feeling like the underdog
Watching through the window
I'm on the outside
Living like the underdog
I've been wasting my breath on you
Open minds will descend upon you
To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, take me as I am

Judgement Day...

2004-08-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

To start off this entry... Once again i'm apologising to people... I'm such and idiot! I keep doing things wrong and make people panic and upset... What's wrong with me? Haiz.. Anyway... Needed to drown my sorrow a bit so was downing a few beers while talking to Kris on the phone... Then fell asleep while talking to her... She panicked and called Gen to ask her what to do... They called my house and my hp... No answer obviously... Next morning got a message from Gen asking me if i'm ok.... YEA OF COURSE I AM! If not i won't be blogging! Hahaz... Thanks for all the concern though... Appreciate it lots.... Sorry to hear bout Kris's little bunny which passed away peacefully this morning... May it rest in peace...

I’ve got my hands out in front of my face
But I can hardly see
I’ve bathed myself in holy water
But it doesn’t bother me
Under my skin, upon my head
Inside the walls, beneath my bed
My black and whites are turning red
Cover my eyes and tell me
Am I really blind
Cover my eyes and tell me
Have I lost my mind
I’ve got my fingers to the blade
But I can’t feel a thing
Open my eyes in salty water
But it doesn’t even sting
Under my skin, upon my head
Stuck in my throat, beneath my breath
My black and whites are turning red
Cover my eyes and tell me
Am I really blind

Gen rox....

2004-08-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

Nth much to talk bout today... Sorry people... will blog with full force once i feel better... right now not feeling really good... The booze has been working to good effect... drown out my sorrow...

Leave u peeps with a song...

Vanessa Williams - Save the Best for Last

Sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
sometimes It's all a big surprise
'cause there was a time when all I did was wish
you'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
but some how it's enough
and now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you go and save the best for last
all of the nights you came to me
when some silly girl had set you free
you wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
'cause how could you give your love to someone else
and share your dreams with me
sometimes the very thing your looking for
is the one thing you can't see
but now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you'd go and save the best for last
sometimes the very thing you're looking for
is the one thing you can't see
sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
just when I thought our chance had passed
you'd go and save the best for last
you went and saved the best for last

The curse of the eyes of medusa...

2004-08-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

Hey people... I have couple of things to say... I got a couple of people to really apologise to be specific... Firstly... Sonya... I'm sorry for the accusations... It was all a flurry of confusion... Sorry for the suspicions and stuff... Secondly... Gen... Sorry for EVERYTHING! I know i've been a jinx to you since i've met you...

I just wish i can erase everything... why am i such a cause for people's sorrows? It's intriguing to think about this sometimes... Honestly i don't know... Comments please people? I'm sure lotsa you will agree with me on this...

Symphony X - Eyes of Medusa

Can you look into my eyes
Tell me, now do you somehow
still recognize this stare I wear
Through crystal tears

The light escapes my smile
There is no likeness to be seen,
it is so strange to me

Awaken vindication
The mirrors curse-it besets me

Endless, timeless, faceless terror
To the isle of deadly shores
Sightless, countless, ageless
torture
To behold the sight of Medusa's
eyes

Under a spell - I'm enchanted
The hand of fate is never late to
ring the time
I'm forced to climb the walls

A voice bids last farewell
With no beginning or no end to
be found by me

Endless, timeless, faceless terror
To the isle of deadly shores
Sightless, countless, ageless
torture
To behold the sight of Medusa's
eyes

What the hell?!

2004-08-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

WOAH!!! TODAY ARH! I AM SOOOOOOOO DAMN DISAPPOINTED WITH MY PIPC1!!! I FLOPPED IT!!! HOW!!!!!!????? Haiz... Then there's my bloody fren who made appointment with me to meet him... then last min charbot when i was going to meet him.... on my way home... i told him i was at CJ cos i sent Gen there... He asked me to meet him there... So juz cos i was short of cash... I had no other choice wad... Sheesh... Met up with my fren from yamaha PS... Got my guitar picks he asked me to try out... So far i can't cos i sprained my thumb... Met up with abang kenneth, Karen and Merlynn for dinner and teh tarik... Anyway... quite tired now... nth much to say too...

Poem time...



Rain falls down from the sky...

Just like how tears flow from the eye...

Staring into space blankly...

Barely blinking...

Hoping for an answer from god...

About the decision i am considering...

I get myself cleaned then lay down on the couch...

What else do i do... Other than slouch...

Turn on the telly... There's nothing to see..

Then i think to myself... Will i ever live happily?

Looking back on my life. What's worth talking about?

Nothing basically... Only screams and shouts...

Fights... Arguments... Heartbreaks... Everything you don't want...

But i hide behind a mask... Trying not to show all this out in front...

So now you tell me... What's my life come to?

Rain has stopped... Sky so blue...

But will i ever see... a love so true?

I don't know... you tell me...

No... Why don't u show me...



Emotionalist signs off...

Rollercoaster of feelings...

2004-08-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

These few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings for me... I dunno lar but it's juz taking its toll on me already. Anyway today was in school and had lab. For once everything went pretty ok... and as per usual. AD-11 has their fair share of breakages and stuff... used to it already. Haha. Met gen in school today then sent her home before playing soccer with the bunch from church... Sprained my bloody thumb really bad this time. I can't move it much now. How to write sia! Anyway. I leave u with another poem...

In the velvet night sky...
The clouds glowed a menacing red...
Lightning flashes and thunder rolls by...
And there i lay with so many thoughts in my head...
Thoughts bout love and thoughts bout patience...
These thoughts will always be on my mind...
Till finally the day i get to be with you...
And whatever you do...
My support and my undying love will always be kind...
If you ever were to fall along the winding road...
I'll be there to help you...
Carry your heavy load...
And to show you care every so true...
Every night before i rest my head on my pillow...
I think about you...
Think about the path i'm about to follow...
All the feelings and emotions...
Girl... If you only knew...

Nick signing off now...

Day of obligation...

2004-08-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

Hallo peeps! Today was the feast of the assumption... was in church today... before that met up with Gen to go to church... all my kawan kawan (friends) were serving with their minstry except abang leonard... After that went pooling with the whole bunch... Really fun... Pooled for a few hours and played a few games at the arcade before sending Gen home and heading back home.. Had lotsa things in my mind today again... Thinking too much you'd say? I have no idea... maybe it is... I feel wierd now... Confusion? Sadness? Despair? All of the above? I dunno....

2 Different Kinda Days...

2004-08-14T06:45:00.000-07:00

Well these 2 days that passed have been totally different from each other. The first day... Was pure bliss... The other... pure SHIT! First day... Went fishing early morning to B**** R*******.... Censor lar... (Illegal)... Caught a few peacock basses... Gen working tt day so cannot go hangout with her in morning... Anyway... went to Coho again and tied a nice fly that looks like a little fish! So proud of it. After that met up with Gen and went for dinner... Then after that go jalan jalan lar... take a walk and had a nice chat... After that sent her home and went to Russell's place to stay over. Next morning came! Going back to the CORNER! Went back there... no fish.... Big splash! Cast... cast... cast... Still no fish... Is it my luck or am i juz plain lousy? Oh wellz... Met up with Jimmy and gang after that for second round of fishing... Still no fish... Went Chao longkang after that for third round of fishing... Russell hit a herring on the first cast... after that... everyone no fish... and the whole of today... i had someone on my mind all the time... Sobz.... Anywayz... Gotta go now... Shack... Take care people....

Oh yes... Ur teddy misses u lots...

Leave u with another pic...

Song bo?

2004-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well today i worked from 12 to 9... quite slack.. got paid for staring at fish and staring at the wonderful view of sentosa from up at mt. faber... As for the function... so many bloody DAO PPLE!!! "Sir would u like to try some of this?" And they give u the face like u aren't even standing in front of them! Throw the food in their face then they noe... Sheesh... This kinda pple oso haf... Well after my day ended wonderful! Juz Wonderful! Oh yes... Heard "Glory of love" on the radio again... Super nice sia... It's been a nice day for some reason or another... Yes it is! Oh wellx... Gtg now... Take care all... and take care YOU! Miss YOU!

Today is the day...

2004-08-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well today... supposed to go fishing in the morning for the sunrise session... woke up late... so decided to be slutty... i went to see Gen... Hahaz... Sent her to work... then supposed to go fishing... Took a walk down the river which brings us life... bla bla bla... Singapore river lar! The water was so nice... so clear... only thing missing was fish... Nothing! Decided to go to coho to slack and practice casting... Woah goodness was my casting splendid today... but cast until hand blistered... It's all good though... Met up with Gen after her work... met up with karen, abang puss and abang charles... at starbucks... Karen had a surprise for all of us lar... tt's why... Anyway after that i sent Gen home... Then there was me running down the stairs cos her dad was walking towards us... haha... scaree! After she went home... i did it again... i fell asleep on the bus... Anyway... I've gotta go pple! See u fellas around! Missing YOU! Winkz...

Another pic...

Hmmmmz.....

2004-08-10T01:01:00.000-07:00

Hello people... Well sorry not very cheerful today... haven't got mood for much today... still feeling rather shitty and sad... Never do anything today... from morning until now i've been in bed sleeping my ass off... Well Gen's busy working so can't go out with her... So i'm home blasting music and feeling the vibes... Don't seem to be helping though... Well it's one of those days where nothing seems to be able to cheer u up... My guitar string bursting today didn't help much either... Anyway... going to tie flies for fishing trip now.. Ciaoz... Still missing YOU...

Happy Birthday Singapore!

2004-08-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Yup today was funbowl day! So fun... it was cosmic bowl... all the lights were off and i couldn't even see the arrows on the lanes! So i had to go with my instincts... and surprisingly, i got 5th for high score game with a 191... i should have gotten more lor... so suay... then on my last throw of the tournament, i sprained my thumb... how fun... Anyway... after that we went to play pool at lucky plaza. Sorry for pissing u off Gen... Really sorry... Sobz... After playing, Gen and i got deserted by Mark, Leonard and Kris... so oh well... juz go to kallang to watch fireworks of the National Day celebration la... The aircraft fly by was so cool... and to know one of my friends was flying one of the planes was so cool... Such an adrenaline rush to hear the planes blast by in full afterburn... Solid vibes! And then there was the fireworks... Such a beautiful sight... Heart shaped pyros, Star shaped pyros and even pyros in the shape of saturn! Everything was just gorgeous la! So happy to spend such a nice moment with HER... Hahaz.... I really sound damn slutty sia... but crap la... who cares... heez... Anyway... i'm off to bed now deciding what to do tomorrow since i ain't got anything on... So ciaoz! Sleep well pple of Singapore! And oh yes... miss YOU.... Winkz...

Leave u with another pic...

Sunday... Oh Sunday...

2004-08-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well well... Today's been quite a pleasant day! Went to church in the morning and met up with HER again... heyhey... Sound so slutty sia... hahaz... Yup went for mass and then to block 3 to makan as per usual... then hung out with Gen before she went on for work... I then proceded to meet my fren mark to get my bowling bag for the funbowl tml... Hung out the whole day... Chatting and stuff... then i decided i felt rich so i bought a new phone!! TO ALL THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE MY NUMBER... IT'S 98377950!!! After all that... i was feeling rather free so i decided to go find Gen after work... i wanted to take my time and procede to her work place... but no... along the way she calls me and says she got sent home cos she was sick... wah... kallang kabot! Faster chiong to her house to meet her... Had a nice chat and then went home and once again... Yes... i fell asleep on the bus... Haiz... Blur kokz sia... Back to the wonderful music... See yaz... Miss u girl...

What a day!!!

2004-08-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

What a day it's been! I'm finally 18!!! Hey that rhymes too... hehe... Anyway... early morning i met up with abang russell to go early morning qi gong... we ran into a school of queenfish which bloody made our legs turn into jelly... they were just huge... that was what i called pure fishing... then gen, karen, phoebe and merlyn (hope i spelled ur name correctly...) met up with us. So happy to see Gen again... Missed her lar.... We went straight to the beach to have a swim... So fun... swim here swim there... then Gen and i went up on the towers at the southern most point of south east asia... the view was beautiful and so was the wind... How i wish i was still up there... Anyway we went back for a swim and took our lunch. What frightened the hell out of me after that was Gen's cough... u alright dearie? Please tell me u are... Take lotsa care... After sentosa, i sent dear sleepy girl back home... after that, went home, received a few more bdae presents from granny and great granny... Then went fishing again with jeremy... wasted our time sia... haiz... Fishing in SG sucks... Shack liao... tml still going church... get to see Gen again... Yay... Anyway... going to sleep liaoz.... Gen... ur teddy bear misses u lotsa... Winkz... Nitez all....

Whee!!! Gonna be 18 soon....

2004-08-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

Yea! Happy Birthday to me... in half an hour!!! Hahaz... Today went bowling... Scores weren't that fantastic... 154 average... how to play at funbowl on monday with this kinda score... top 5 oso dunno can get anot... Anyway... today was just fantastic... Gen brought me shopping and bought me this great looking outfit... jeans and an olive green shirt... not boasting... but i look pretty good in it... look damn rugged Gen claims... must learn to trust Gen's taste cos it's unbelievably awesome... Thankiew Gen! Hugz... Then she brought me to cartel to eat... met a few frens of hers... Cherylanne, Jasmine, Yue ying, Phoebe.... and this the best part... they bought me dinner... well.... Gen and Cherylanne did la... Thankiew you too... It's the best thing that frens have ever done for me... i really appreciate what u girls did and i'll hold it close to me... Heez.... So glad i got to spend time with Gen today... Really... Gen rocks... Hahaz... I really really enjoy her company... Well... that's all i can think of.... Nick signing off for the last time as a 17 year old... Ciaoz...

Wah... Shack...

2004-08-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

This nutcase just got home. As the title of this entry suggests, shack... Just sent Gen home and i took 21 all the way back from balestier side... Approx. 1 and a half hour ride... And i performed the impossible... I SLEPT THE ENTIRE JOURNEY! I woke up at the damn interchange! Siao liao i thought... haiz... Take a damn bus back to my house... Lucky didn't fall asleep again... Anyway today was CSAS test in school... finished it within 25 mins and walked out once the time permitted... Went out and met Gen! So happy... Anyway accompanied her for the day... wanted to go buy skin patch for bowling... go all the way to the pro shop then bloody hell... jack wong close shop liao! IDIOT MAKE ME WALK ALL THE WAY FROM TP!!! Never mind... went back to accompany Gen... Left school at around 8.30... Then the rest of the story goes on la... Too lazy to tell now...

Now Playing: Rufio - Angel above me...

Heart itchy... Haiz...

Hey Ya!!!

2004-08-04T08:27:00.000-07:00

Whassup! Well this is my first blog entry and i can still say i'm in the testing testing mood for this. Nothing serious yet. Yupz... I just got home from school. Was there studying with Gen. Met Eric and a few others along the way too.
Anyway... too sleepy to type out or think bout anything now... I'll leave u fellas with a song...

Symphony X - Candlelight Fantasia

Just one more night
One more score
Another question in my mind,
Can't take no more
Kissing the tears from my face as they fall
To the ground in silence
In twilight and faded time
Spirits cold, with no love
Bells ring a lonely chime
Candle fires
These lit dreams can't burn alone
Winds of change bring songs upon my memory
An empty heart and soul intoxicates me
This darkened page orchestrates my final destiny
Not knowing what, what tomorrow will bring
CHORUS
From within the mirrors eyes
I'm forced to run away and hide
I feel those mystic eyes subside
And leave me blind
Through passages in time
A prisoner locked behind the door
Lonely roses slowly wither and die
I can't escape this captive misery
Heart stone cold, under supremacy
Thrown into a raging sea of tyranny
Lifes vile walls have tangled me in threads
Eternally caught in my futures threads
Play the violent strings of my symphony
SOLO
Transcend the absence of this fantasy
Just another vision
Washed away with the tide
No place for forgotten ones
I cannot deny
What lies beyond, beyond this fantasy
CHORUS
From within the mirrors eyes
I'm forced to run away and hide
I feel those mystic eyes subside
And leave me blind
Through passages in time
A prisoner locked behind the door
Lonely roses slowly wither and die
CHORUS
From within the mirrors eyes
I'm forced to run away and hide
I feel those mystic eyes subside
And leave me blind
Through passages in time
A prisoner locked behind the door
Lonely roses slowly wither and die





Oh yes... I miss u dearie! Sobz...